couldnt sleep again.
total hours of sleeping these 3 days = 4h.
W, are you happy that i'm in a pathetic stateright now?
i kept thinking that you're in love with another again.
it's pretty obvious, so i guess thats it.
i almost ended my life last night, around 4.
i couldnt take the pain, it's as if i could feel my heart tearing.
walked to the kitchen with tears flowing out from my eyes.
took a chair and opened the window.
the moon was flashing down to my face, it was so quiet.
i looked down, it was so dark i couldn't see the trees and cars.
i imagined myself dropping down, and down.
head reached down the ground first, arms and legs dislocated.
Head bleeding profusely, hearing the ambulance sirens.
And there i was in the white room, people in white trying to safe me.
Mum, sis, bro, grandma and anybody else who cares weeping down the hall,
thinking what might the reason be. There's only one.
And i dint make it in the end, i went thru' that light, save from all heartaches.
Looking at you down from above every day, every min, every second.
At that moment, i felt like something was forcing out from my stomach,
and up my throat. Climb down from where i was, went to the toilet and vomited.
sitting on the toilet ground next, crying even more. Till when maid woke up, at 7.
i stood up and was sitting alone emoing in one corner.
Now, typing these, my heart is really empty.
you dont know how i feel.
you dont even care anymore.
Reading all our previous post, how sweet we were.
i think i should really had drop down.
